Sunday, March 29, 2009

finding your voice...finding your path

in french, there is a saying..."when you find your voice you find your seeing (path), and when you find your seeing (path) you find your voice."

there is a play on words that cannot be translated in english, however, when i was living in france, i enjoyed this saying because of how connected our seeing and speaking really is. the more i speak my truth, the clearer the path lies ahead, and the clearer the path, the easier it is to speak my truth.

i have found that life has many "distractions"...and many of these distractions can be attractive, even seductive, drawing me away from who i really am or what i really love to do. at first glance, they appeal to my senses, lulling me towards something that, on the surface, appears attractive, taking me down rabbit holes where i 'think' i may want to be or need to be, etc. but in the end, i find that it is not what i love about life, it only feigned to be.

as my mind becomes more in alignment with my other words, the more my mind lives in service to my heart and the "great mystery" of all things, surrendering to what i love...the more at ease i am with life...walking, playing, being and creating with a freedom, i am discovering, is beyond any ideas of what i thought life could be.

artist...Giovanni Rubaltelli

Friday, March 27, 2009

diving into the sound of bhav...

this morning i awoke to the memory of a "bad dream"...emotions were heavy, as my prayers of the last week were being answered..."may the conditioning of my past unwind, and may i live freely in the now...and may all beings live freely in the now." so my dream was filled with emotions that i have been in the process of surrendering to source: fear, worry, doubt, uncertainty. i drove up the winding pacific coast highway this morning towards yoga class, and i traced the emotions of my dream and saw how they had wound their way up into my memories, my emotional "reactors" and mental projections. gliding in to yoga class, we began with the yoga of sound, bhakti...sending songs of devotion out from our hearts and voices and into the ethers...sounding out the now while unwinding what has been and what is not in alignment with source ~ source of life, source of truth, source of love and source of freedom. sound can be elevating, healing and uplifting...sound is also ancient, new and unpredictable. sound is structured, metered and spontaneous. om... an audible utterance of this primordial sound produces a sense of sacredness as well as an understanding of our interconnectedness to all life. after an hour and a half of yogic postures, we ended where we began, in the silky, smooth wine of sound. we all sang our hearts to life, our voices chanting an age-old language that is filled with devotional praise. unwinding my body, unwinds my mind, which in turn unwinds the memories and allows my emotions to act from the present. walking out of yoga this morning, the dream scape had slipped away, the emotional past of the dream had unraveled and i returned to the center of who i am, re-membering the source of all things. namaste.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

why i am a "miracle walking"

a few years ago...i was sharing with a friend of mine about my life and the experiences i lived both as a child and a young adult. i shared about my encounters with religion, spiritual communities and other traditions that i had delved in and out of as a way to heal from my own mental and emotional conditioning, as well as a way to discover other modalities which could assist me in bridging my mind with my essence, re-discovering my relationship to Source. in the process of sharing, i began to realize that what i had lived, and was living in the present, was miraculous, and i then said, "in fact, i am a miracle walking." that night, after our conversation, i went home and wrote the song, "miracle walking" which is featured on my new album, from within. this song is very special to me because while it is a reflection of what was...or has is also a discovery of what expression of who i am NOW, and this is the miracle. i hope you enjoy it as much as i do...thanks for listening and sharing in the power of music as an expression of healing and love.

Monday, March 23, 2009

wisdom of trees

this morning, at 7:30 am, i was awakened to the brutal sounds of an electric saw. i wasn't sure why, at such an early time, there was this noise, and it seemed to be sawing right into my bed, it was so loud and close. i looked outside my bedroom window, and i saw that there were some men pruning back the tree that stands on the other side of our backyard fence, on our neighbor's property. i stepped outside, to be sure that they were just "pruning" the tree, and to my dismay, they were chopping her down. since i have moved into this house, i have enjoyed this beautiful tree (it was probably over 70 years old) and it gave so much to, shade, grounding...and it probably gave enough oxygen to all the neighbors that live on our block. acted as a bridge between this world and another...its roots grounding into the earth, bringing me into the deep knowledge and wisdom that is alive and teeming with infinite insight and creation. its trunk brought this wisdom up from the earth, uniting the roots through its leaves with the ancient life of the stars.
so many nights i would walk out into the backyard and hear the ocean breeze rustling through the leaves...sounding like waves lightly touching the shore, or like a soft rain hitting the ground.
the sadness is strong this morning, as i feel the loss of a friend...a wise, old and consistent friend who is now gone. it would have been one thing to have returned home to find the tree gone, but instead, the sounds of the saw grinding the tree down to its stump, and eventual "death" was a profoundly sad experience for me, and i will miss that tree and all its infinite gifts.
i give thanks for the gifts of all of creation, big and small, seen and unseen, whose interdependence is felt more and more as i tune in to my vulnerability and dependence upon all life as a spiritual being having a human experience.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

tough love, VH1 and the 'bu fest'

"tough love" is a new tv show on VH1 and they are featuring my music on many of the be sure to check out the show and listen in to hear some music from my album "from within!"
VH1 tough love

thanks for all the love and support and be sure to tune in to upcoming shows:

rusty's surf ranch april 10th 8:30pm

and the "bu fest" at the paramount ranch
may 24th 6pm
go here for more details:bufest

more to come...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

no god in any box...

i have grown up around so much dogma that focused mainly on attempting (and succeeding!) to place god, or the image of a box, a book or limited to a word. throughout my travels, both geographically and spiritually, i have sought to find expressions of god, or the great mystery, in other traditions, religions, ceremonial practices and places of worship... and- what i have found is this...nothing, nothing...can limit the mystery of the divine. how can one limit that which is infinite? these experiences of my life formed the inspiration for the song, "big enough" which is on my newly released album..."from within". below are the lyrics to the song, and if you like, you can go here to listen to it:

no box
no book
no word
is big enough
no mosque
no church
and no synagogue

so how high can you go?
and how deep is your flow?
and how wide are your dreams, tonight?
and how high can you go?
how deep is your flow?
and how wide are your loving arms tonight?

the moon
the sun
they breathe life to everyone
and the flames of fire
quench my desire
and the stars in the sky
they are bringing me insight
and the waves of water wash me over

so how high can you go?
and how deep is your flow?
and how wide are your dreams, tonight?
and how high can you go?
how deep is your flow?
and how wide are your loving arms tonight?

i am your daughter
i speak the great mother
i live as a woman in humanity
i am your son/sun
and i speak for all the great ones
i live in the center of humanity, yes i do!

so how high can you go?
and how deep is your flow?
and how wide are your dreams, tonight?
and how high can you go?
how deep is your flow?
and how wide are your loving arms tonight?

no box
no book
no word
is big enough
no mosque
no church
and no synagogue

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

the queen of the forest

here's to the queen of the forest...
the master teacher who stops at nothing
revealing the truth behind our illusions
while bringing her children home
here's to the redirection of distortion
of our soul's sickness-
and her supreme medicine
bringing our essence into full bloom
here's to the gift of the star nations
illuminating our true nature
healing the water of our cells
and of the earth
the ancient wisdom revealed
beyond the ideas of what we've been told
here's to the cosmic serpent
twisting her way into our dna
dissolving what we thought was reality
into ash and dust
and unveiling a universe within
so vast, so compassionate
we are transformed instantly
here's to the earth and the stars
the feminine and the masculine
the yin and the yang
and the union of all things
here's to the queen of the forest
her subtlety and fierce passion
whose love compares to nothing
and whose presence heals all